I lie in bed awake. It is midnight, two hours after I turned out the light and promised myself a good nights sleep. But every time I close my eyes, sleep does not come. Instead I hear the sounds of metal on metal, a loud sound like an explosion. Screeching tires and then finally nothing.
As I lie there hearing nothing, I am also hearing everything. I hear the sirens. I hear the shouts to call 911. I hear the panic in the voices all around me I hear it. But really, I hear nothing.
The minutes tick on and as I lay there panicking I know that something is wrong. He should be home now. He has class in the morning. Still, I lie there in silence. Waiting for sleep to come.
I finally fall asleep, surrounded by silence. Panic has left for the night, I realize I must be dreaming, he is fine, just out with his friends.
Then, the doorbell rings. It is early, we are confused. Who could be ringing the doorbell at such an hour. They will wake the children. We creep down the stairs, as if not to be heard. There is someone at the door, but who could it be?
It is then that we realize a parents worst fear. The police officer at the door is there to tell us that our son will not be coming home tonight. Not tonight, not tomorrow night, not ever again. You see he did not make it home and those sounds in the night that I heard? I didn’t hear, I only feared I would hear them but, they were true.
And as I sit in the sunshine I remember him, what he was like as a boy, a teenager, a young man. Almost his time to graduate College. Almost. He will forever be that young man waiting to graduate, waiting for his new job, waiting for his first love. Years have passed and life has gone on. I can smile now. But sometimes when I turn out the light at night, I lie there awake and wait in silence, for the turn of the key in the lock so I can go back to sleep knowing he is home safe with us.
