I lie in bed awake. It is midnight, two hours after I turned out the light and promised myself a good nights sleep. But every time I close my eyes, sleep does not come. Instead I hear the sounds of metal on metal, a loud sound like an explosion. Screeching tires and then finally nothing.
As I lie there hearing nothing, I am also hearing everything. I hear the sirens. I hear the shouts to call 911. I hear the panic in the voices all around me I hear it. But really, I hear nothing.
The minutes tick on and as I lay there panicking I know that something is wrong. He should be home now. He has class in the morning. Still, I lie there in silence. Waiting for sleep to come.
I finally fall asleep, surrounded by silence. Panic has left for the night, I realize I must be dreaming, he is fine, just out with his friends.
Then, the doorbell rings. It is early, we are confused. Who could be ringing the doorbell at such an hour. They will wake the children. We creep down the stairs, as if not to be heard. There is someone at the door, but who could it be?
It is then that we realize a parents worst fear. The police officer at the door is there to tell us that our son will not be coming home tonight. Not tonight, not tomorrow night, not ever again. You see he did not make it home and those sounds in the night that I heard? I didn’t hear, I only feared I would hear them but, they were true.
And as I sit in the sunshine I remember him, what he was like as a boy, a teenager, a young man. Almost his time to graduate College. Almost. He will forever be that young man waiting to graduate, waiting for his new job, waiting for his first love. Years have passed and life has gone on. I can smile now. But sometimes when I turn out the light at night, I lie there awake and wait in silence, for the turn of the key in the lock so I can go back to sleep knowing he is home safe with us.
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Tears, seriously. It is a parents worse nightmare. I have a friend who’s brother died when he was young and it still hurts him to this day (he is 55 years old). I can only pray I never have to endure such heartache.
Oh Anna, that is heart wrenching, so poignantly written.
It is every parent’s worst nighmare.
I had to read this 4 times to make sure it wasn’t about A. I was a little nauseous for a minute or two, I won’t lie.
Almost too painful to read.
Beautiful photo and a beautifully written, heart-wrenching post Anna. (I see Kami and I had the same thought!)
Oh my God Anna, I have chills. That is every parent’s worst nightmare, for sure. That is terrifying. Very well written. I was also sick with worry, but I see now it is someone else’s story… and just so painful.
That is whatwe all fear.
I can’t imagine (or rather, I can, which makes it all the worse) what it would be like to live through something like this. I pray that I will never have to. And a prayer for all those who have suffered such a thing.
Wow that was so well written. Thank you for sharing! Isn’t it true that once we become parents, the worry never really does end.
My 18 year old son just got his license and his own car. He’s later at getting them, most of his friends got theirs when they turned 16. He had his 365 but let it expire. I was pushing him to get his license but not too forcefully knowing the added worry that comes with it. He has been driving with his friends for the past 2 years. They have had their fair share of accidents. One young man was in a body cast from waist down for a few months and still walks with a limp. He’s had a 2nd accident which he walked away from, luckily. My son was with one friend when he had an accident this past winter. I got that call from the hospital. Makes your heart stop. He was fine, just a cut on the forehead from flying glass but not a call I ever want to get again. I think, I hope, knowing all the stupid things his friends have done will make my son a better driver but they think they are indestructible, nothing bad will ever happen.
This link takes you to something I wrote a little over a year ago about a son who was never coming home again…he was my son’s best friend, brother of the boy in the ‘body cast’. It was a work related accident but the end result was the same.
http://whatnowbonita.blogspot.com/2009/02/19-years-to-live.html
I am so very glad that you titled this post “not my story” because the whole time I was starting to feel a bit panicked thinking something terrible had happened. But, really, I guess your point is … something terrible has happened – it IS someone’s story. And so sad. It reminds me of the parents of a boy I had a mad crush on for years. He was the blonde, blue-eyed, bright boy who everything ahead of him. And then, suddenly, he wasn’t that boy anymore. He was the boy who died from brain cancer. Now that I am a parent, it hurts even more to think about it all.
OMG this was the worst time ever for me to read this!!! I’m like bawling here . . . too much emotional stress for me this week.
But wonderfully written and captivating – a story worth sharing. Well done, my friend 🙂
I am at a loss for words. This is indeed every parent’s worst nightmare. Thank you for sharing.
Incredible story and photo. So very heartbreaking. 🙁