Next week on J’s last day of Junior Kindergarten, I will be celebrating my third anniversary in blogging. I was first introduced to blogging by my friend Danigirl, who was a closet blogger (to those of us that knew her in real life) for a little while, then she let it out that she started her blog. Now, Dani is a writer. She should be writing books but, instead spends her days writing for our Government. What they ever did to deserve her talent is a wonder to me. All that aside, I started reading her blog. From there, I found Ann Douglas’s blog (which was a thrill for me because I had all of Ann’s books at the time and loved her even though I didn’t really know her. Now I know her and love her even more) and from Ann, I found Secret Agent Josephine. And I think most of you know that I just love SAJ for her cleverness, craftiness and all around able to pull one out of the hatness (I know that isn’t a word, but it’s my blog story so I can make up a word if I want to).

These three women kept me going through some of my earliest morning wakings with J. What to do at four o’clock in the morning with a two year old??? Answer, TV and a laptop. Then, they kept me going when I just needed to check out for a while. Through their blogs I found countless others and officially became an addict. After a while, I wanted to put something out there to offer back for all those who offered so much to me. But, what do I do? Although I always wanted to write, I never considered myself a writer. What would I write about? My life is so boring. Well, blogging has helped me in both of those areas. Being a Mom is wonderful, but it surely can let you get stale in your thoughts or writing abilities, so blogging has helped keep my mind fresh and skills up to date. It has also helped me find the fun things in our day or if there aren’t enough of them to start making time for some fun things. I have shared with you happy times and sad times and some pretty boring times. So, in light of all of it, I have decided to host my first ever Giveaway.

I have been trying to figure out what to offer. Something sewn, something knit, something to eat??? Then I realized, I should give away one of my photographs. It won’t take me too much time, I already have them printed and sitting on my piano (I wanted to see how they would turn out blown up to an 8×10 size) and I have always wanted to give the gift of photography so here it is. This is your chance.

All you have to do is leave a comment telling me which one of the four photographs you would like. That is it, that is all. Next Wednesday, June 25th on my actual Anniversary of starting this blog, I will put all entrants names into a bowl and draw a winner.

Thank you all for stopping by and spending a little time at the beach. And don’t forget… there is always a little sand in your happy place.

Please note: The photos were slightly cropped when I made the mosaic, you will see a little more of the flowers in the actual photograph.

It’s not about ME.

It’s not about ME.

It’s not about ME.

I am a super sensitive person.  I cry at the drop of  a hat.  When someone looks at me the wrong way in the grocery store, I wonder how I offended them. I have spent years trying to teach myself that it is not always about me.   Just because someone is nasty (read beeotch) to me doesn’t mean it is about me.

I had been doing much better, but recently an old friend and a close acquaintance have both been really nasty to me.  Separately but it is the same feeling I get when I talk to either of them.  Whatever on earth did I do to you to make you so nasty to me?  I have even questioned myself.  Have I been nice, have I been social, have I been generous, have I changed?

I can honestly say yes to only one of those things.  I have changed towards both those people.  How could I not have.  Every time I call or visit they are just plain nasty.  Occasionally we have good chats or visits but more often than not, I leave or hang up feeling depressed or anti-social.

I searched myself today, while I cleaned my house.  I asked myself what did I do?  Then all of a sudden I remembered something.  It’s not always about ME.  And perhaps this goes back to the old ‘jealousy’ philosophy I carried around for a long time.  My jealousy philosophy is that sometimes people are just nasty because they are jealous of something I have or do that they don’t.  And in both these cases I think that these women are actually jealous.  Jealous of me!?  Thus, their way to deal with it is to be nasty.  I can’t change the way they feel towards me and I can’t change the way they act towards me.  The old me (the one from years ago that would have been so devastated by this) would have done anything to turn this situation around.  But today, as I was cleaning and thinking about this I realized maybe it isn’t about me at all, maybe it is about them.  Maybe they are acting this way towards everybody.  Maybe they are jealous, but that isn’t my problem.  My problem is me.  And I can do something about me.  I can tell myself that it’s not about ME.

And I have been doing this every time I start thinking about it.  I am feeling better, but I might have to chant it just a little more.

It’s not about ME.

It’s not about ME.

It’s not about ME.