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About Me

My Left Boob

The title of this post has been in my mind for six months.  If you are one of my few male readers and you don’t want to hear about breastfeeding, then step away.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Before I became a Mother I decided I was going to breastfeed. There was no question in my mind, no thought that it wouldn’t work or that I would have trouble, I was going to do it and do it for a year.   Then J came along.

My precious little guy who became my precious big guy within weeks.   Born at 8lbs 2oz, he nursed like there was no tomorrow, I could set a clock to his two hour feedings and he ate for ten minutes and was done.  He gained a pound a week for three months straight.  We started calling him ‘the chunk’, thankfully that nickname didn’t stay but, he grew into his true nickname of ‘Bubba Joe’.  Why I don’t call him that on my blog is beyond me because he truly answers more to ‘Bubba Joe’ than he does to his real name.  When it was time to switch over to solid food J quickly became a lover of all things food, juice (or water with a splash of cranberry) became is new best friend.  However, he still nursed a couple times a day and night until he was about ten months old.  Slowly he dropped to nighttime feedings only and then one day at 131/2 months he stopped.  I knew it was coming, but it was heart breaking at the time.  I never knew if I would have another child and it was a bitter sweet moment.  He was done.

Then along came Apple, which is her nickname, but she rarely answers to it, funny, eh?  When she was born and weighed in at 9.5lbs she was the heaviest and longest of all my nieces and nephews.  We thought for sure she was going to be a large child, we prepared for it.  However, despite the fact that she nursed all the live long day and night she is actually quite tiny.  She is tall and lean, but light and has zero body fat.  How she got that gene is beyond me. We introduced her to solids at six months, like her brother, but she didn’t really care at first.  She slowly started eating more and more and finally decided that she could eat all day long. Some days she eats more than J does.

But nursing she wouldn’t give up.  Around Christmas time I was feeling like I was going to cut her off.  It had been a year and three months and I was done.  However, she got sick and would only nurse so I continued on.  As the months passed and she started pulling on my shirt, I realized I really had to stop this because I did not like being pulled and torn at all day long.  She eats, a lot.  So I cut off the daytime feeds.  It was a tragic month of tears and shirt pulling and giving her yogurt after yogurt.  Finally she mostly stopped pulling on my shirt.  Every now and then she still does it, but I know she is just hungry.

The nighttime feeds continued though.  And the judgment from family and friends was really starting to get to me.   It was totally my choice to continue to feed her, and I really wanted to stop, but I felt like she would just do it one day, like J did.  This Friday, however, I was done.  I am not sure what made me decide, I guess I didn’t really think about it, I just didn’t do it and was able to settle her.  So on Saturday I didn’t offer.  Instead I offered water, which she was not happy about.  I think I have insulted her, but so far she still kisses and hugs me so I think she will get over it.

Here I sit on Tuesday with a left boob that is not only killing me, but wondering why on earth I stopped feeding Apple.  For some reason the left has been the favorite of both kids so it is continuing to fill up whereas the right, bah, it’s fine and half the size.  Hopefully I won’t experience mastitis for the first time after I weaned my kids but, I am on the look out for it.  As much as I was done, I will also miss this time with Apple.  It was the only thing I could offer that was truly from me.  I do not know if we will have any more children, so I also have this little bit of sadness that I will never get to do this again.  And maybe, just maybe once the ‘girls’ stop lactating, they will return to their old former size, a girl can hope can’t she?

9 comments
Categories: About Me, Baby

All these gray skies have been leaving me so uninspired that today I decided to round up all my old cameras and tell you my tale of photography.  Not only in words, but with photos to show you where it all began.

Back when I was twelve, I realized that we didn’t have many photographs as kids.  My parents owned one of those little cameras that you had to put a cartridge of film in and cubes for a flash.  It never really worked well but, once in a while Mom would break it out and take a few photos.  When I was finishing up Grade Six and realized that half my friends would be moving on to a Middle School that didn’t include me, I brought Mom’s little camera and took last day of school pictures.  That was when I knew I wanted to be a photographer.

It took me about six months to save up the $350 to buy my first camera.  I worked for my Dad throughout the summer, spent a little on vacation and continued to work on weekends until March when my Canon Powershot (yes, the first of it’s kind) went on sale and I had enough money to buy it.

Here is it in all it’s glory.  I babysat and used my allowance to buy and develop my film.  And back then to develop a roll cost minimum $12, sometimes more if you went to the wrong shop.

This little guy served me well, as you can see by the cracks and damage, the casing for the film is even held shut by tape, but it still works!  But, time was marching on and I needed to upgrade.  I was starting to save up again, but my Step-Grandfather told me I could have his old SLR.  I was thrilled to say the least.  Even when it arrived and the guys at the camera shop laughed at me, I didn’t care. It was all mine.

While the cool photographers at school had awesome Minolta’s, I was snapping away with my trusty Chinoflex. It didn’t matter, I still got the shots.  And Guy Greaves (the school audio guy) took pity on me and quite often let me use the school Minolta to run around with.  Guy was great.  He never once told me my shots weren’t any good or gave me crap when a roll I took at the Student Council Election speeches came back blank.  He only ever encouraged me and handed me a camera.  I spent a lot of High School with a camera around my neck taking photos for the slide show, yearbook or just for me.

Then I left High School, that is a story for another day, but I did what I had dreamed of doing since I was twelve.  I went out and bought my very own SLR.  A Minolta.

The Minolta X-570 to be exact. This beautiful camera was all mine.  And even though I was no longer in High School, I was out there taking photos.  I got it with a 50mm lens and that was all I had for a long time. I documented my younger Sister’s birthdays, held photo shoots with them and took Christmas photos of the family. My Dad used to say I was wasting film.  Even though I paid for it myself he couldn’t understand how I was always taking so many photos.  When he was a kid they got one a year and that was it.  When my parents moved to Manitoba and my older Sister and I stayed here, I presented them with a photo album documenting the last six years for them.  That was the second time I ever saw my Dad cry.  I also bought my Mom her first camera, some cheapy little thing, but it worked and she did as promised and took pictures.

The Minolta went with me everywhere and I even got a second lens for it a 75-150mm.  I had a flash that whistled and screamed through many weddings and new births. But, nobody else ever got a camera in my family because, well I had one.

Then the digital age came about.  Hubby was tired of whistling flashes and me setting up a camera for him.  And J was going to be making an appearance and I wanted in on some of the pictures.  So, Hubby in his true supportive fashion, bought me my first digital camera.

The HP Photosmart 320. I think it is 2.1 megapixel’s, but at the time, it was the bomb.  I took that everywhere with me!  My poor Minolta was crying out in pain at not being used.  Then J came along and I realized I missed the quality of SLR, so I brought my Minolta out again and used both.  As you can see this went through the wringer too.  Unfortunately one time when J was bringing it with him (it’s his camera now) he dropped it on the tile floor, inside the case, but the battery compartment broke.  We taped it up and it still works, a little rough around the edges but it does the trick.

Hubby to the rescue again, was getting tired of my Minolta and thought that the family photographer needed to step it up a notch.  He asked me if I wanted a new ring for our anniversary or a camera.  Well, welcome to my world Nikon, you beat out the gold and diamonds.

The Nikon D50, at the time of my purchase, was the best entry level camera there was.  It was nicely in our price range and brought my photography up to the next level.  With the digital era, I could see exactly what I was doing, transfer to my computer and print it off in a matter of minutes instead of days.  And the quality was unbelievable compared to my little point and shoot.  I am pretty much a straight out of the camera shooter.  I mean, I can use Photoshop, but I try not to.  I like to do as little work as possible after the fact, that is just how I am.

I have to add this little gem in here.  I got it free when I purchased a new pair of reading glasses and it has turned out to be quite great to throw in my purse or give to Hubby to take a few photos.  It’s the Canon Powershot A470.

Over the next few years, I added a couple of lenses, the 55-200mm and the 50mm. I am always changing them up and trying different shots. Hubby still gets a little irritated by my camera and lens playing, but when he sees what I get photo wise, he loves it.  I should take this opportunity to say how wonderful and supportive Hubby is to me and my photography dream.  He never complains when I say I want to go somewhere because I need to stretch my creativity out beyond the backyard.  And when I told him that I was staring up my business, he did nothing but encourage me to go forward.

So, it should not come as a surprise that I finally come out and share with you all my newest camera. I got it a couple of months ago and fell in love instantly.  It is now part of my body, my right hand if you will and I take it with me, almost, everywhere.  Again, Hubby is my biggest supporter.  He ROCKS.  Have I said that before, well, no I don’t talk about him a lot because he is the strong silent type, but yes, he ROCKS.  He told me that if I am going to live the dream, then I better do it right.

And that is how I came to own a Nikon D700 with 24-70mm lens.  This is an entry level Pro camera and Pro lens.  It is big, it is heavy and it feels very, very natural in my hand. It has a full frame sensor, which is the same size as 35mm film.  Unlike the DX sensor that is on my D50, this sensor allows for much more in the frame.  It took me a little while to get used to it again after shooting with  DX for four years but, after the wedding in Montréal I think it is safe to say that I have figured it out and I am hooked.

Many of my readers already know that I started my own photography business this year, but I haven’t come out and posted about it because I wasn’t sure how to link the two sites together.  I will most likely be starting a separate photo blog that will host photos from shoots that will be linked directly from my Photography site, but the two will always somehow cross over because this is where I record my daily life and photography will always be part of my daily life. I did make a tab at the top of my home page that links directly to my site, so feel free to stop by there anytime you like.  I will be putting up some photos from the wedding I just did, some newborn shots that I have done and a wedding I have coming up in a three weeks.  It is a work in progress as is any new business, but now at least you all have the background of how it all came to be.

8 comments
Categories: About Me, Photography

Gray Skies

I am usually a very happy person.  I would say that 90% of the time, I am happy and upbeat.  About once a year I get in a funk.  This usually happens in the dreary days of February, but somehow this year it escaped me.  Until this past week.

When the sunshine turned to gray and the warmth turned cold, I lost it.  My mind that is.  I had been happily trudging along but have come full stop.  I haven’t been inspired to do anything but curl up with some hot tea in front of the fire and read a book.  That is, of course, when Apple has been sleeping.  When she is awake she has been begging for outside, she is an outside girl.  But, she is also a daredevil.  Water and a daredevil don’t go together on the play structure.  So we have been passing a lot of time inside going a little bonkers.

The forecast is calling for sun, but I don’t really believe it, until it comes and stays for more than a week, I will remain skeptical.  Until that time, I will call up some warmer days in photos and bask in that sunshine.

And bear with me a little longer, while I try to find my sanity.

10 comments
Categories: About Me, Spring