Way back when in high school, I was never part of one clique. I was kind of a free spirit. One week I was a preppie, the next I was a surfer girl, a jock, a rocker. And my friends were of all different groups as well. I had my few closest friends, but I hung out with everybody. Again, preppies, jocks, punks, whatever I didn’t care, all that mattered was that they were my friends.
As high school went on, I found that certain friends of certain groups would get upset if I hung out with others. This caused me tremendous pain as I was always trying to please everyone. And I found that I just couldn’t do it. That was when I started dating a guy from another high school, far away. It just made things easier and as I type this I am wondering if deep down that was the only real reason I dated him, forever, it was safe from my closer friends at school. Hmmm…. something to ponder…
Anyhow, what has me started on this post “So High School” is that even today, I have found that there are still cliques, still groups that I either don’t belong or people think I don’t want to belong because I am ‘hanging’ with someone else. And this is just so weird that I have been thinking about it for a week or more. But, everyday I drop and pick up J at school. There are two or three distinctive groups of parents. I have at one point or another befriended Mom’s, Dad’s or Caregivers from all sides. But, I find that they don’t cross over. So, if I am talking to one Mom then, another from the other group won’t talk to me or vise versa. And it just seems so strange, that after all these years I still get the sense that I should be talking a little to everyone every single day. And I get the sense that the ones I can’t talk to get a bit upset that I can’t.
Not sure if this is making sense to anybody but me, but I guess it just still feels a little bit like high school some days. Or maybe it is just me and I feel like I did back in high school if I can ‘t chat it up with everybody. The best part about it all is that I really don’t let it get to me like I did in high school, there is enough of me to go around. I just find it strange that there are still cliques out there, I thought it was such a cliche.
And a big THANK YOU goes out to C who awarded me with a “You Make my Day Award”! I cannot for the life of me figure out how to put the button in the post. But, thank you C, you too are one of many that make my day.
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I know exactly what you are saying. I am also the type who likes to try and include everyone. I find this dynamic with my neighbours. I have made friends with a number of my neighbours from all sides of my town house. If I am talking to one neighbour and the another one comes out, she doesn’t feel confortable to come over and chat. If she does come over, the neighbour I was talking to walks away… I just don’t get it. If that were to be me I would say hello and get involved in the convo. I have even tried hard to work the two onto a conversation but it isn’t working. It is very frustrating.
That does seem a bit strange. I sometimes don’t approach people if I’m not in the mood to talk or if I’m busy, but to consistently avoid someone just because I don’t usually talk to them/know them well? That’s just strange in my book.
Heidi
That wounds awful. Grown adults behaving like that.
Don’t change yourself, though… I appreciate people who can get along with everyone, find something in common with everyone, is friendly to everyone.
I so hear you. I spend every drop off and pick up wondering the same thing. I’m guessing that at 30,pushing 40, clearly this is how things work. But how annoying…
I have seen this too, it’s crazy isn’t it?
Who actually liked high school for that very reason yet we seem to perpetuate this behaviour as adults.
Go figure!
Do even smile and Nod? or do they give you La Look? i can’t imagine adults doing this. Funny I work at a school now and I find becasue I’m not a teacher I am sometimes ignored. WHICH Pisses me off because we are all there for the kids.
SIGH I see that growing up has eluded some.
But I’m your friend and I will talk to any time!!!