I need to shout out today, to all the Stay at Home Mom’s out there. There is no need to apologize or justify why you stay home. No need.
When talking to a girlfriend of mine this morning we were talking about rough nights and kids that need a lot of extra attention. It is a usual conversation between two Mom’s at least between Mom’s that I get to talk to in the morning. Then my girlfriend kind of apologized or explained that that is why she stays home with her children. And I was so shocked. I couldn’t believe that she felt the need to justify that to anyone. And so I told her so.
As the day went on today, I realized that many of us Stay at Home Mom’s do that. We feel like we should explain why we chose to give up careers or our life as we knew it to stay home and raise our children. I know that I do a lot of work from home, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that I am still home with my children. That I spend most of their waking time doing things for them and give up my ‘me’ time to work. I do this because I want to, not because I have to. What I have to do is be here for my children. And I am no longer going to justify that to anyone. No way , no how.
And I am challenging the rest of you ladies out there who stay home with your children to do the same. I thank my Mom regularly for being there for me during my school years when I really needed her. I hope that my children will thank me one day too.
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Take out pay and status and it seems the whole world forgets that what we do its real work too. Hard work. 24/7 work. I will not apologize for staying home because my kids need me here and I need to be here for them. Thanks for the shout out to the stay at home moms 🙂
I do this too. I always say that I work from home so I can be home with my kids. And I add the part about being home for my kids to justify why I don’t work out of the home.
The truth is I like the work I do and won’t go back to working out of the home until I stop liking it. And the bonus and why I started this work in the first place is because to me and my husband, having me home is worth more than a high paying full time job.
I think I missed the point of your post…I just spent two paragraphs justifying why I stay home.
I will work on it! Thanks Anna, this was food for thought.
I think stay at home moms shouldn’t have to justify their choice, but neither should moms who go back to work. I was lucky to have my son at the end of a school year and have 3 full months at home with him. I couldn’t be a stay at home mom (24 hours a day in the summer is enough).
The people who need to justify themselves are housewives with no children. Go out! Do something!
So true Anna! We don’t give ourselves enough credit for all that we do (unpaid!)
You are so right, Anna. But I think it’s true in general that no one really knows what it’s like to live someone else’s life, or why they make the choices they make. Sorry, I’m looking at this through my homeschooling-colored lens, thinking about how often lately I’ve had people get defensive with me about their kids going out to school when I happen to mention that Annalie is homeschooled. I don’t homeschool Annalie because I want to make them feel bad; I do it because I think it’s best for my kid and our family. I don’t know what’s best for them, school-wise, and I wouldn’t presume to!
Same thing goes for moms, whether they stay at home or not, I’m sure they love their kids and are doing their best. Period. 🙂
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! I will not appologise for this important role I have chosen ever again. I needed this.
Oh, I will. I apologize all the time. Then I apologize for apologizing. I love what Bethany said — it’s so hard not to judge other people by our own experiences, and it’s so hard not to measure ourselves against others and find ourselves wanting. But it’s a useless waste of energy and we should concentrate on doing less of both. Sorry if this comment is too long. 🙂
I have felt like that. I felt like that this week when I decided to take another year off with the kids. I feel like I have to explain myself.
I guess we all feel this way at some point. I often feel the need to blubber on about the debt we have to justify why I have to go back to work. I have heard (3rd party, a stranger) someone once say ‘why did she have 3 kids if she can’t stay home to raise them’. The women weren’t talking about me, but it put my back up. Made me feel more guilty than I already do. We need to stop and just accept each other for the choices we make. 🙂
Bang on. I did the same thing. Constantly telling folks that it was important to me. My wife did the same. Stay at home parents want to give their kids what they got from their parents.