This past week I have been starting to feel old. It has been coming on stronger lately as it takes a bit longer to get back into shape for the summer or to realize that I just am not as young as I used to be. I firmly believe age is a frame of mind. I have watched my own parents stay youthful having us girls and now our children to keep them young. And most days I truly do still ‘feel’ 21 in my mind. But on those other days, I feel each and every day of 40.
When I was still in my 30’s with my twenty-something little Sister.
When my fortieth birthday came about last year, it was with very little fanfare. I didn’t even mind turning the big 4 -0. I don’t ‘feel’ forty so why should it be a big deal. It shouldn’t really.
Then a few things have happened over the last week to make me realize that I am just not as young as I used to be.
The first and most embarrassing was when I was walking downtown on the Market. It was a beautiful day, sun was shining, Spring was in the air. I had just picked up my new computer and gone to get some pastries for my Mom for watching Apple. I was strolling confidently with my computer over one shoulder and the pastries in the other hand. Then, my shoe hit a certain spot on a curb and my ankle started to roll. It was one of those times when you know you are going down, but can do nothing to stop it. I couldn’t right my foot and feared breaking my ankle. Knowing my new computer was under one arm, I took one for the team as the saying goes. I went flying, and I mean flying, through the air. Landed hard on my right side about four feet from where the curb was. It is not always good to be as tall as I am, it just means that when you go down it is a longer way to go. Thankfully, my quick thinking kept my computer safe and the pastries stayed in their container, so they were a little messy but still edible. My body however, took a beating. I had what I think was whiplash, from tensing my neck to make sure my head didn’t hit the sidewalk. A bruise on my knee and elbow that was so deep that just a slight touch would almost bring me to tears. The next day was spent nursing my bruised body and honestly a bit of my ego, it really is embarrassing to fall in front of so many people when really you shouldn’t have fallen.
As I was getting over those injuries, I was bothered by my eye. Felt there was an eyelash out of place or something. I finally go to check it out in the mirror and it ends up there is a bit of eye sticking out touching my bottom lid. I get myself over to the eye doctor to find out I have fluid retention under my eye, lovely. Most likely due to dry eyes and working on the computer so much (I say as I am typing away on my computer). A few eye drops later and I am starting to feel like new again, but apparently this will never go away and I will have to learn to manage it, lovely.
Then my tendinitis in my left wrist starts acting up. There is no one thing that seems to trigger it, but when it starts if I don’t get my brace on it right away it gets bad, so bad that the ache runs up the tendons on my hand and not only hurts but feels freaky, like they are out of line or something. So, where are we now, yes whiplash, a twitchy eye and a bum wrist.
Then, I twist my left going over a snowbank. And the pain shoots down my leg from my hip socket to mid thigh. I am now adding limping to my list of injuries. Last week was supposed to mark my return to running, but I was lucky to get in a few hobbles around the block. And although my wrist is much better and my eye isn’t twitching yet today and my neck only hurts if I twist it too fast my leg is the last hurdle to overcome. I was doing well until about fifteen minutes ago when my boot slipped on the ice while picking up J from school. I am back on the couch with some ibuprofen.
Is it too much to ask to feel young on the outside as well as the inside? Here’s hoping my list of injuries starts to fade and I can get back to feeling 21 again, even if the mirror tells the truth every time I walk by it.
