This week, I thought I would cut out all forms of sugar other than my three 1/2 teaspoons in my coffee in the morning (yes, 3 cups of decaf every morning… have been on that ritual for many, many years) and anything with natural sugar. I started on Monday and by yesterday I thought I was going to sink into depths of dispair.

I did well, wasn’t tempted even by the offer of Starbucks from my sister. I just thought if I cut it out cold turkey, I wouldn’t crave it so much. I never used to crave candy all the time, but now I seem to want it always. Now, I don’t keep it in the house everyday, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want it everyday. Somedays, I don’t crave it, but crave a Chai Latte from Starbucks. I am pleased to say I am down to one or two trips a week. The newness of it being so close to my home is wearing off. Now, I am treating as just that a treat.

Ok, back to the sugar. I thought I could cut it out. Eat healthier for a bit, counteract some of the side effects of the fertility drugs I will be starting soon. I won’t be able to work out as much when I take them so I wanted to get back to basics. Except by yesterday, I was sliding into the dumps. For no other reason than, I lacked in sugar. I felt lethargic, like a tonne of bricks, like I just wanted to sit on the couch forever. I didn’t even want to work on my Nanowrimo!!! I didn’t even want to … gasp… eat dinner!!!!

I promised myself I wouldn’t cave. Then today, my girlfriend came by for lunch, I had some lovely homemade butternut squash soup for lunch, with some fresh fruit for dessert. Except the fact that she brought cinnamon buns, complete with extra icing and oozing sugary goodness. I am so weak. I could not resist. But, I tell ya, within minutes I felt fantastic!

Is it possible that I need sugar every day? I never used to need it, I could go weeks without sweets and treats. Is it because I used to smoke and drink wine everyday? Is it because I was so busy at work or school that I didn’t feel the need to stop and eat a sweet? Or did I actually eat it unconciously and never realized that I ate it everyday anyway? I bet you that is what it is. I probobly ate treats all the time and never realized it.

Anyhow, the experiment is over. To counterbalance the extra indulgence today, I headed out for a 5k walk in the crisp fall air, with a little bit of sunshine peeking through, just to tease me a little. I know the rain will be back tomorrow. I actually thought it was the cloudy rainy days that were getting to me, but the instant gratification from the sugar assured me that I can live without sun, but I truly cannot live without sugar. At least I have been a little cleansed and have no more candy in the house (that is not J’s) and I can earn my way back into a treat a day.

Here’s to a sweet filled weekend!